Grief Tradition
Life is a juxtaposition of the light and the dark, one cannot exist without the other. So from time to time in our existence on this earth we will experience grief. Sometimes it can be expected as with a terminal illness, in other times it knocks us off our feet in the form of a sudden tragedy. No matter what the circumstance that surrounds it, grief is a legitimate experience that must be intentionally held, experienced, and honored.
It seems as though their is grief in abundance these days, and when things come up repeatedly in life it is our responsibility to delve into it and do the work. Of course there is the grief of losing a person or pet, their can also be grief surrounding life changes, loss of job, loss of friendship, loss of self, loss of schedule, loss of faith, the list goes on. The reality being that whether we acknowledge it or not we are surrounded by grief all of the time. Because we do not acknowledge or fully grasp these smaller acts of grieving we lose out on the opportunity to gather the necessary tools for big grief when it happens.
The common misconception surrounding grief is to get back on the horse, to keep living your life, to hold in the pain and that in time it will go away.
Grief is like a child that is not getting enough attention, it will come back over and over and over again. It is behoving to set life down for a moment and give one's grief the attention it deserves.
I will provide a few basic tools for grappling with one’s grief. If this work speaks to you and you would like to further your own exploration of these ideas please contact me and start your grief tradition today.
Suggestions for delving into ones grieving process:
1) Journaling - Take the time to get to the root of the problem. Write about what you miss, write about your lost future, write about the depths of your pain, write about how your life has changed, and whatever else comes up. Write like no one else will ever read this so you can feel free to be completely honest with yourself.
2) Do not grieve alone - Surround yourself with others. When we are left alone to grieve it is all too easy to fall to the depths of despair. Seek out others who have experienced the same loss or a similar one, find a support group or therapist, surround yourself with loved ones.
3) Be patient with yourself - do not hurry your process. Befriend it, honor it, and when you are ready set it free. There is no prize for speed grieving, rather you rob yourself of the opportunity to honor something and it will manifest in negative ways in your being.
4) Breath - In the times when the pain of grief feel insurmountable, just breath deep breaths in and out of the nose. Traditional Chinese Medicine says that the lungs are the organ of grief. So by connecting to our breath we can honor and integrate our grief.
