Simplicity Tradition
Now, we will begin our entry into mindful parenting. Remembering that every topic that we cover in this series will be two fold. First, in the literal sense of the children in your life or in your care, and second, for our own inner child that needs tending to and honoring on a regular basis.
The thing that I would like to talk about here today is Simplicity Parenting. This is its own extraordinary movement. I highly recommend the book “Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier and More Secure Kids” by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross. It follows closely to the tenants of the Slow Parenting Movement. The essential theme here is that less is more.
In today's modern society there is no shortage of things to do, stuff to have, or sensory input. Both of these modalities argue against all of that. They are a cry out to a simpler time with clear outlines on how to do so.
The first thing is to cut back on the amount of stuff in your home. Did you know that there is the same amount of toys on average in every American household despite income level? The only difference is in the quality of the items.
We seem to think that toys = happiness. I would argue that is not the case. My children have very few toys and they rarely ask for more or make comparisons to toys in other households. If you give children items that are of a high quality and promote creativity rather than having only one purpose, they will have no shortage of entertainment.
The second thing to cut back on is media time. Obviously we know that screen time is not ideal for children. There is so much science that backs up that ANY screen time before the age of 2 is detrimental to a child's well being. Now, I am no purist, and I acknowledge that children will have screen time. Especially with the rise of remote services.
However, you can be conscious of how much time your children spend in front of screens. Our household averages about 30-45 minutes a day. Meaning if they watch a feature length film then there are days where nothing is watched. And that we save TV for a special treat or extreme circumstances (ex. someone is sick or hurt, or god forbid me and my husband have a meeting at the same time.)
The third thing to be aware of is content. This can be in the terms of what your child is reading or watching, video games, and even what adults are talking about with them or in ear shot to them. In our home we do not watch the news in front of our kids, or talk about the news in front of our kids. What happens is children end up being exposed to topics they are not yet emotionally ready to handle and you see them process it in their play in inappropriate ways with other children.
Fourth is diet. Simplifying your diet can have a huge impact on a child's life. My rule of thumb is anything less than five ingredients is fair game for the kids. We eat foods with low sugar content and that are naturally dyed. Also eliminating gluten or dairy can be helpful for many children, as these bind up digestion. The gut is closely linked to the brain and when the gut is backed up it becomes more difficult for children to process things and they will act out as a result.
Fifth and final is creating a simpler schedule. This one is always so hard because we want our children to be well rounded people and so we sign them up for sports, and groups. But when does it tip the scales and become too much? Only you can know what is right for your children. Ask yourself if you have a set consistent schedule? Do your children know what time meals are at? Or what the morning or evening routine looks like? Do you have days where you all come together to have a meal?
So now, reading all this, what will you do with it? If this is all ground breaking info for you, take some time to digest it. Then pick one area to focus on to start. Small steps in the right direction are better than big ones in the wrong direction. So take it slow and be kind to yourself in the process. Remembering that any of these things can be just as helpful for the adults in your life. If you have any questions, comments or concerns please reach out today and we can find your Mindful Tradition.
