Listening Tradition
As human beings we have a need to be heard and understood. In order for that to happen the person that we are talking to must be listening. Through listening we are able to learn and take in information, thus learn more about each other building trust and stronger relationships. When we truly listen to another person we communicate that we value the thoughts feelings and emotions of the person we are listening to.
I believe there is a right and wrong way to listen. I generally tend to avoid such over generalized statements as this one, however I really think this is an area where it hold up. For example interrupting someone mid thought sends the message that what they are saying is not important or that they as an individual is not important. While active listening, such as asking follow up questions, or nodding while the speaker is talking can help to create a sacred space.
Listening is such a complex subject, that it can be broken down into three parts.
1)Listening to - What a person is in real time saying or not saying.
2) Listening for - These are the underlying messages embedded in people’s words such as an individual’s values, commitment and purpose are.
3) Listening with- This involves listening with ones whole heart, intuition and body.
I personally believe that when a person feels heard, understood and validated it can be life changing. Despite being on a planet with over seven billion people we can often feel alone. When we feel heard it brings a level of connectedness that many of us are lacking.
So I would like to offer a listening exercise, something that may seem a bit awkward at first but can be completely revolutionary when done with commitment and compassion. If you would like to expand on your listening skills or are needing a space where you can be heard, than please contact me now and we can start your listening tradition today.
Find someone that you feel safe with.
Each of you take a seat facing the opposite direction from each other but with the shoulders touching, or almost touching. Make sure the space is as quiet as possible.
Decide who will talk first, then set a timer for three minutes.
The first person talks about whatever they want until the timer goes off. If you need a moment to finish a sentence that is fine, but even if you are not done with a topic let it be done when the timer is done.
The timer is reset and the second person now talks. They do not respond to the first speaker, and when the timer is done the activity is now over.
The two participants now face each other and say thank you for holding sacred space. They do not need to talk further about what was shared because it was held in the container of that sacred space which has now been brought to a close.
