Processing Tradition
Whew, what a summer!
We were right in the middle of our Mindful Parenting block when it felt like the whole world went cuckoo and I lost my focus.
That's right, friend, even I, a seasoned yogi, can get knocked off kilter.
It felt somehow shallow and a disservice to the times to continue as if everything was fine. As if nothing had changed.
To be honest, I felt disempowered. Like nothing I could do or say, mattered.
So I took some time to sit with my pain. To listen to it. To validate it. And to learn from it.
And in doing so, I have received so many gifts and so much growth in my own personal development.
It’s important to know that this kind of work takes time and energy. And depending on who you are, will determine the tools you need to do this work. I had to take some things off my schedule in order to have the space to process. I also needed lots of time outdoors, time for extra yoga and meditation, and also intense physical exercise.
The time outdoors helped me to reset and reground. Yoga and meditation helped me to go inward and identify the source of my pain. And physical exercise helped me in processing and move through the blocks surrounding my fears, so I could set them free and move past them.
I would like to share with you a personal experience that was at the height of this personal development. The big thing that changed for me after hundreds of small shifts had been made over the summer.
We had taken a vacation to our home state, where we lost our jobs and home in one week during the height of COVID. This situation with three small children is terrifying and daunting on its own, let alone in the middle of a worldwide pandemic, and housing and economic crisis. We left that state broken. We all lost everything. Sure we had our stuff, but the things that mattered most had been taken from us, and due to the global situation, there were no housing options for us within a 3-hour vicinity of where we had been living. We spent 6 weeks trying to find a home before fully realizing we were homeless and needed to make long-term plans to crash with a family member.
I share all of this so you can understand the depth of my pain. We took all of that and built a new life, a new home, and two small businesses, all while homeschooling our children and supporting them through their own grieving and processing of the dynamic shifts we had just navigated.
Every time we went back to visit family, it was so painful. To be in that place where we once felt held and loved. It was all the things I wanted but felt unobtainable at this time.
On the last day of our trip, I was hiking through the woods with my dog collecting ferns to bring back to our new home for a meditation garden I am making when I broke down sobbing. I had this distinct experience of a piece of myself being ripped out. The same sensation I had felt every time we left the state to go home to our new state.
As I sat on this bridge watching the sunset over a pristine and remote river, I decided I did not want to feel this way anymore. At that moment I made a distinct shift, and I led myself through meditation.
I closed my eyes and imagined that rather than that part of myself being ripped out, I was choosing to leave it safely by the river. I imagined myself placing it on the rocks and building a shrine over it to keep it safe. And then I thanked the river by offering it my tears, a song, and a piece of quartz that I kissed and dropped into the water. I was consciously leaving this piece of myself here, this bit of myself that could not thrive in other places because they are not truly my home, this piece of myself that is not safe out in the rest of the world.
As the last piece of this transformative process, I acknowledged that I was bringing home medicinal herbs that I had foraged, food that we had picked and frozen, and living plants back with us. That I was bringing that safe and nurturing energy of this state back with me so that those parts of myself that I was consciously leaving behind could still flourish in my new home.
I left that hike feeling renewed, refreshed, and about 50 pounds lighter.
Something drastic shifted at that moment. And a sense of peace and calm followed.
This is the work. When we get to the place of being able to identify our needs and support ourselves through difficult times. This is the culmination of over a decade of yoga and mindfulness. This is not an easy path or quick fix. This is the work that will change your lives and change the lives of those around you.
Since we returned from our vacation so many people have commented that something about me is different, that I look different, that I am glowing, etc.
People can literally see this difference. Because it is real and it happened at a soul level. And this is how this work radiates out into the world and gives others permission to do the same.
So my call to action is to give yourself permission to take the space you need to process. To feel all the feels. So that you can do this work.
Now you know, that if you ever have any questions along the way I am here for you. You can reach out today to find your own Mindful Tradition.
